In your study of Spiritual Maturity I, Topic Two, "Made in the image of
God", a circle diagram was depicted displaying the human spirit, soul
and body in the form of a wheel.
We learned that man is a three part being, made in the image of God. The function of man’s spirit was
explained in Topic Two lesson two.
Before beginning this study, I suggest you go back to Discipleship I,
Topic Two, Lesson One to familiarize yourself with the basics of the
"soul", where we covered the personality traits, and the root of
rejection.
This teaching will continue the explanation of the adverse
effects that rejection plays in all of our lives. The diagram below
gives an outline of what takes place in our soul.
The circle diagram charts reproduced with the permission of Grace Fellowship International and Tyndale Publishers
PLEASE PRINT THIS DIAGRAM OUT AS IT WILL HELP YOU TO UNDERSTAND THE TEXT. Right click on diagram and select print.
The Soul
There are two types of rejection that are prevalent in our lives,
they are:
Overt (obvious)
Covert (subtle)
We are all familiar with "overt" or obvious rejection.
Example: "I hate you, you are a terrible person". There is no doubt
that you will immediately recognize "overt" rejection. You may be able
to rationalize the fact that the person dislikes you and move on to
others who do like you.
In human relationships, when hurt or rejected, the tendency is to
strike back, and the person rejected reciprocates with some form of
retaliation. This person also rejects God for a time, but never succeeds
in getting God to reject him.
"Covert" rejection is not as obvious, but in many cases more deadly
and damaging than "overt". You can be in your own home and be rejected!
Example:
A wife can be at home taking care of the children, doing chores,
cleaning house, taking the children to their activities. When she is
done, she is looking for some companionship and sharing with her
husband. He has no time for her as he is watching TV or doing his
own thing. Everything is more important than she.
This same scenario can be used by the husband, as he sees his
wife spending all her time with the children and ignoring him. It is
a deep hurt and feeling of rejection by both parties. Neither one
intentionally set out to hurt the other.
This next story, I witnessed personally. While in a restaurant,
an acquaintance of mine came in and began speaking to me about her
career. Her 11 year old son, who was with her, had just finished
playing ball and was starving. He was a very thin child and kept
begging her to get him something to eat.
She continued talking about
herself; and every time the boy would beg again to be fed she would
say to the boy "I love you", but never stopped talking. This
continued for about 20 minutes before she finished what she had to
say and finally brought her son to get something to eat.
My heart
really ached for the youngster. Her son could not help but be
terribly rejected; he always came last. I had seen similar results
with her and her son on other occasions, the result always being the
same.
She said the right things, but her actions contradicted her words. This was blatant covert rejection that brought hurt and
confusion to the youngster. Although words can be very hurtful, It’s
not always what you say, but your actions that really count.
The Soul
The following is a list of covert rejections in order of most
frequent abuses:
1. Overprotection
This leads to inadequacy (never able to measure
up; complete dependency on another person). Most parents feel they
are sacrificing themselves by doing everything for their children,
never believing that they are harming them, sometimes beyond repair.
They do things for them because children can not do things as well
as an adult. By not allowing them to experiment doing things on
their own, the parents are stunting their children’s social growth
and character.
2. Death of Parents
When a child loses their parents, they feel
loveless. In most cases, no one will love you like your parents.
They think everything you do is wonderful; you’re always their
little girl or little boy, no matter how old you are.
In my own
case, I remember when I went to college about 20 years after I
graduated high school. My mother was so excited you would think I
got a doctorate degree. No one else would feel like that.
3. Wrong Sex
Parents wanted a boy and got a girl, or vice versa.
You will often see a young girl or boy acting like those of the
opposite sex because he/she know that their parents wanted a child
of the opposite sex.
This is a major rejection to the child and could lead to emotional & developmental confusion
as the child tries to please the parents.
4. Change of Life Baby
In many cases the baby is not
wanted…considered a mistake. When the child finds out that they were
not wanted, they feel a terrible rejection. They may also feel
guilty because their parents are older and will have to work longer
and retire later than they would have if the child had not been
born.
5. Divorce
When two people get divorced, the children involved can feel two different ways:
a) they can feel that their parents don’t care about them;
b) that they caused the breakup because they didn’t behave properly.
6. Suicide
Suicide is the epitome of self-centeredness and
rejection. In essence, the one proposing suicide is saying "I only
care about me and how I feel; I have no regard for you". Other times
the individual may want to punish a person by shifting the
responsibility for the suicide on him/her, hoping that the person
will be miserable for the remainder of his or her life.
Example: A couple I knew were very happy together and had two
children. The man got cancer and died. His wife said she couldn’t live without him. She
attempted suicide many times and finally succeeded.
She had no consideration for her two teenagers.
Imagine how they felt knowing that their mother wanted no part of
them and didn’t care what happened to them. The children were 14 and
16.
This list will continue in lesson two of "Soul – Results of
Rejection"
1.) When we experience rejection, in which part of the diagram does it take place?
a) Body b) Soul c) Spirit
2.) What is obvious rejection called?
a) Covert b) Overt
3.) Which one of the two types of rejection is more damaging?
a) Covert b) Overt
4.) The person rejected usually reciprocates with some form of rejection or retaliation.
a) True b) False
5.) In one of the examples of "covert" rejection, what did the woman say to her son?
a) I love you b) Stop whining c) You can wait until I’m done d) All of the above
6.) Of the six examples of covert rejections, which one was number one on the list?
a) Divorce b) Suicide c) Overprotection d) Wrong sex
7.) When a child finds out that he/she was a change of life baby they feel they are…..
a) A mistake b) Not wanted c) Rejected d) All of the above
8.) Of the list of covert rejections, which is the epitome of self-centeredness and rejection?
a) Divorce b) Suicide c) Overprotection d) Change of life baby
9.) In the example of "suicide" why did the woman end her life?
a) She had no consideration for her two children b) She couldn’t live without her husband c) She wanted no part of her children d) All of the above
10.) Overprotection does what?
a) Helps the child learn by example b) Leads to inadequacy c) Helps them to grow d) Children feel blessed
"I was able to use these courses as part of my daily devotions. Thanks for making them so easy to use."
airmoni
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PearlB
"Thank you SOOOoooo mcuh for this course in the basics. It is simple and powerful. It's a good review for me and helps to clarify some blurred issues."
